cry night

today we're reading Psalms 139.

read today's text

phew. 
Let's talk about cry night. 
If you're not familiar with cry night, it's a term used to describe a night at a Christian camp or retreat that is dedicated towards an emotional setting usually structured with worship and an altar call as well. 
If you're new to camp culture or Christian culture, you might be thinking what the problem is with this. 
Unfortunately, there's many. 
I'll go through them quickly but I really want to get to how we move forward after experiencing cry nights. 

1. It is rooted in the fact that the closer you are to God the more emotional you will become, which will then affect how people view their relationship with God after they leave that setting.

I remember coming back from camp after sobbing during three nights of worship wondering why I wasn't crying every time I wanted to read my Bible or listen to worship on my own time and I was distraught over the fact that I wasn't close to God anymore. I truthfully would beat myself up about it and then would give up until the next year at camp. 

2. It reinforces the fact that camp or camp-like settings are the only places where you can really feel Jesus. 

After experiencing the first, I had convinced myself that the only place that I could really connect with the Lord would be at camp. That meant I always needed to seek experiences like camp in order to refuel my faith every few months so I'd have enough to carry me over. 

3. It creates a really confusing environment for those who are new to Christ and may push them away from wanting to pursue Christ. ​

I know that as I began to lead at camp, I would observe campers who were so overwhelmed by all of the emotion that they would choose not to give their life to Christ either because they were scared of an uncontrollable emotional response or because they didn't like being emotional. 

The worst of all is that it inaccurately depicts how every day faith truly is, and thus does not allow for a genuine fellowship with Jesus that is not fueled by emotional manipulation. 

I don't know about you, but I don't uncontrollably cry every time I sit down and pray or read the bible.
I don't uncontrollably cry every time I'm listening to worship music in my room or in my car.
Every day faith isn't like that. 
An every day fellowship with the Lord is a relationship, not manipulation.
People that have experienced cry night situations have grown up having to reconstruct the way that they look at what faith looks like. ​
In order to move forward, we have to intentionally re-teach ourselves about our faith in Christ.

So let's re-establish what our faith in Christ means. ​

1.
Faith in Christ is voluntary, not forced by anyone or anything on earth, but led by the Holy Spirit. 
Faith in Christ leads to inner peace, not emotional distress. 
Faith in Christ calls us to freedom, not fear. 
2.
Faith in Christ does not invoke a direct emotional reaction, but it does invoke a spiritual reaction.
IMPORTANT: sometimes your spiritual reaction is an emotional reaction.
ALSO IMPORTANT: your spiritual reaction does not have to be an emotional reaction. 
3.
God knows your heart better than you know it; meaning that your spiritual reaction is your own. 
You do not need to force yourself to look like another person's spiritual reaction. 
You do not need to force others to look like your own spiritual reaction. 
​4.
If our faith in Christ is trusting that God is not only our Father but our Creator, then our faith in Christ manifests in a spirit of thankfulness. 
Even when we are in a moment of repentance and confession, our attitude will always be of thanksgiving. 
Let me say that again. 
Even when we are in a moment of repentance in confession, our attitude will always be of thanksgiving. 
Now let me explain:
In my brokenness, I am thankful for a Healer. 
In my sin, I am thankful for a Savior. 
In my shame, I am thankful for a Redeemer. 
In my anger, I am thankful for a Comforter. 
In my stress, I am thankful for the Author. 
In my guilt, I am thankful for the Father. 
In my suffering, I am thankful for a promise Keeper. 

This is what we need to hear at camp. 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: abolish cry nights. 
Cry nights are harmful. 
Cry nights are manipulative. 
Cry nights are toxic. 
If you feel like you are feeling forced to feel something: that is not the Spirit of the Lord. 
If you feel like you are feeling forced to express something: That is not the Spirit of the Lord. 
If you're struggling from experiencing events like this in your past and are on your journey to reconstructing your faith journey, know you're not alone. 

If you leave with one thing from this post, take this: ​

God did not intend for us to be emotionally manipulated into His kingdom. 
God did not intend for us to be emotionally manipulated into His presence. 
The God I serve and the God we serve is loving, gracious, merciful, and understanding. 
Fun fact: God knows if you don't like expressing emotions. 
God also knows if you're prone to expressing emotions. 
He literally created you. 
He knit you. 
He doesn't need to manipulate you back into His arms. 
His love is enough to pull us towards Him. ​
​Without the cry nights.